Manu Dibango at The Barbican

Cameroon's best export the legendary Manu Dibango shows no signs of slowing down as he celebrates turning 80 with a gig at the Barbican on 26th November.
For more information and to purchase tickets, click here.

He's taking a piss...literally

What a surprise seeing a generously proportioned XY chromosome easing themselves by the road; in full view of moving traffic and not a care in the world.
Growing up in Cameroon, I got accustomed to men casually stopping by the roadside, letting Mr Wonky out for a long spray on the grass, then a little vigorous shake at Wonky post splattering the environment with toxins; then Wonky gets carefully packed in, inside its shabby cockroach holed underpants (boss-boss dross) as Wonky's owner nonchalantly taps his unwashed hands by his side discarding off any 'spill-over' during aiming; then continues his business striding along with the geste of a lame prince...not a care in the world.
Unwashed wee hands eager to fondle a willing bird. One of the reasons I don't like greeting men! Anyway! So I did a double take seeing a man taking a piss...literally, by the road.

Response to anti-illegal immigration bus campaign

Dear Mr Cameron and your Cabinet of Millionaires, 
If you want to curb immigration and send back all illegal immigrants from Africa, I suggest you consider giving a relocation allowance of £50K, providing meat and beer on the return flights home. 
This will solve the problem instantly...not this bus advert campaign! Whose idea was that? Was it conjured over a game of cards at Number 10 or what? It is too simplistic. Even the EDL could do better in sending away these immigrants who clean your hospitals and pick your tomatoes. 
By the way I hope your chipped tooth is much improved? Hoping the whole tooth comes out eventually leaving you with an ugly dental gap; as ugly as this advert.
Yours Sincerely, 
An African Migrant.

Royal Baby given African names

BREAKING NEWS: The Royal Couple have broken with tradition by giving the Royal Baby African names, in a nod to Her Majesty's firm grasp over several former colonies namely Cameroon, Nigeria and Ghana. The Akan people of Ghana are famed for naming children after the day they were born.Therefore, the third in-line to the throne, Prince Cambridge, will be known as HRH Kojo Oluwafemi Oluwola Fru Che Windsor. Clarence House has confirmed the Queen has given royal approval for the couple to break with protocol.

President Paul Biya celebrates 80th birthday

• Cameroon's octogenarian leader celebrated turning 80 with family and close friends
• Clutching a bouquet of roses, Mr Biya said he felt "ox-strong" and 80 was the new 40
• Thanked Cameroonians for their support throughout his uncontested three decade rule

The low key affair which took place on the 13th February at Unity Palace gave the public a rare glimpse into the private life of Mr Biya and his rather modest surroundings at the presidential abode.
Set in a Valentine's Day theme, the brash party décor was no doubt a reminder to the all important fact  Mr Biya was born on Valentine's Day Eve, lest we forget. 

A close aide from Unity Palace who wished to remain anonymous said the presidential duo had wanted something discreet without the hallmarks of an over indulgent wealthy family trapped in a gaudy display of their ill acquired riches.

The gigantic five tier cake with  two red hearts etched at the front stood on a table adorned with huge bouquets of red roses and pink petals. Large golden candles rested on either side and in case you forgot how old the octogenarian truly was, a blue candle with the number 80 stood atop the cake.

Mr Biya  and his red roses. Forget wearing your heart on your sleeve, Mr Biya's is on the table

The presidential couple showed their frivolous side in this dire economic times as the golden candles used for Mr Biya's birthday cake were recycled from the First Lady's birthday celebrations back in December.

A recession dip celebration as recycled candles from Chantal Biya's  birthday back in December were used

The couple are flanked by their children Brenda (L) and Paul Jr (R)

Real men don't give roses, they receive them

The modest surroundings of Unity Palace

President Paul Biya addresses Cameroonians on Yaounde killings

The spate of gruesome attacks on young girls in Cameroon's capital has prompted the president to hold an emergency conference with government officials addressing the issue.

President Biya  was consumed with emotions as he addressed Cameroonians

Yaounde has been thrown in a state of panic and wide alert over the past fortnight as mutilated corpses of girls as young as 15-years, have been dumped on the streets. Fears of ritual killings have shocked the vibrant city as these bodies have had body parts such as eyes, genitals,breasts, etc removed.

In a speech to the nation addressing distressed Cameroonians, President Biya promised to track those behind such "vile" attacks and to "treat them like the dogs they are." The president cast a forlorn shadow as he pledged emphatically to Cameroonians such heinous crimes will not  go unpunished. Racked by emotions, Mr Biya paused from time to time to wipe a tear which occasionally fell on his perspired glistened cheeks. Borrowing the words of  British Prime Minister David Cameron, Mr Biya assured Cameroonians "We are all in this together."

President Biya's speech on Yaounde ritual killings:

"Our country is in  mourning. When I heard the news of the attacks on these vulnerable young girls I instantly thought about my own daughter. As a parent, I was filled with indescribable sorrow at their  young lives cut so short.
"Learning of the horrors inflicted on their bodies left me with a feeling of distraught and a sadness which still tugs at my heart. I cannot understand how such corrupt criminals live amongst us. Such wickedness in mankind. Have we no  love for our own people we treat them like common stray dogs?
"What will possess one to act in such a cold calculated way towards a fellow human being? A defenceless young girl? I have asked myself these questions over and over again with no answers.
" My heart goes out to the affected families and I want to assure you we shall track those behind these vile attacks and treat them like the dogs they are. They shall not go free.
"You are not alone. We are all in this together. All of Cameroon mourns with you."

Accompanied by the First Lady Chantal Biya, the presidential duo appeared thoroughly shaken at the events. The usually glamorous Mrs Biya looked pale beyond recognition in a faded CPDM kaba (maxi gown) and badly sewn blond greffe (wig) which unashamedly showed her unrelaxed black roots. The contrast between the blond greffe and her charcoal dark roots created a rather unpolished look for a woman widely regarded on the international scene as Africa's First Lady of Fashion.

It is the first time President Biya has addressed the nation over such an incident. He has been accused in the past of being a ghost leader holed up in the anal cavities of France's president or hiding away in his numerous French Châteaux, completely disconnected from the plight of his people. However Mr Biya appears to prove his critics wrong as a more compassionate side to him has emerged.

Polls conducted by Cameroon's reliable news sources placed him firmly in favour with most Cameroonians who feel they have never had a better president, given the multitude of presidents the country has had.

Study for FREE in London with a two year Masters in Social Work bursary

A list of professions eligible for a bursary similar to what nurses receive has been added on the NHS student bursary website. Now you can have your fees paid for with a living and expenses stipend if you are going to train as a: dietician, chiropodist, physiotherapists, radiographer,speech and language therapists, etc

Check the website here for a range of options available.

To be legible, you need to meet residency requirements.