The ChristMaterialisation of Christmas & It's ChristLessness.

Was this part of meal plan guys?

Bah, Humbug! It's that time of the year again when we all flutter about like a brood of confused spent hens vying for attention from the only cockerel on the farm; flapping and fluffing about until the eggs are laid golden.
The bells are ringing, beckoning all from East to West,North and South: to shamelessly dip into our purse stream strings and unearth all it's worth to acquire earthly possessions for our loved ones in "remembrance and celebration" of  Christ's birth: born amongst cow and horse dung in a stable with a manger for a bed two thousand and ten years ago.(I went horse riding last year and apart from the excruciating pain felt in my thighs for striding a horse so long: the "radiating" smell from the stable was enough to make one week old rotten fishes smell like sweet roses).To imagine the Son of God starting life amongst such conditions: his first whiff of earthly air mixed with the perfume of  cow and donkey urine is in stark contrast to how Christians celebrate this period. (Probably the air in the stable wasn't so bad after the Three Wise Men visited with Myrrh & Frankincense. Did Mama Maria burn them later to neutralise odour? She possibly couldn't have without consulting Health & Safety regulations surrounding that period). Placing Jesus in a manger?...Did the cows moo, the sheep bleat and horses neigh at human interference on their meal plate? The wonders of The Almighty who started so lowly...


The shameless materialisation of Christmas by Christians have reduced the period which Christ's birth is commemorated into days of epicurean gluttonous activities with an eclectic mix of senseless shopping sprees indulged by both shopaholics and Christmas induce spenders who suffer from such yearly attacks in the run up to the festive period. I wonder what Christ thinks as he watches his flock take the main attention away from HIM to indulge in the  accumulation and adoration of earthly goods he spent his thirty years on earth admonishing them about? The sale bonanza frenzy,specially released limited edition Christmas toys,books,DVDs, Christmas special travel discounts; in fact the huge commercialisation of Christmas etc all serve in diverting attention away from the Mass celebration of Christ.


Of what symbol is the Christmas tree that adorns most christian homes this time of the year ? Over centuries, it has come to represent and symbolise Christmas. There are various stories circulating the world wide web as to its origins but non bear a particularly strong Christian hallmark with most sources being largely unverified. I have however picked on two stories for lack of time:
The Prophet Jeremiah forewarns against pagan practises of bringing trees into our homes adorning them with decorations. "This is what the LORD says: Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the heavens, though the nations are terrified by them.For the practices of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter." Jeremiah 10:2-4. Make what you wish of this.Given that I am by no means overtly religious as my sins could burn the Empire State building in a jiffy...I found this doubly interesting.

Abu Dubai - $11mlln tree decked in gold.

Another story traces it's use as far back as 722 AD, when St Boniface of Germany cut down an oak tree to interfere with a pagan sacrifice of a child and in its place grew a Fir tree. The Fir tree thus came to represent new life from God and his promise of eternal life.(If this were the case, shouldn't Christians have this Fir tree all year round?). I came to the conclusion that if Christians wished to  lovingly remember and celebrate the birth of Christianity's founder; perhaps a figurine of him laid in a manger in a stable surrounded by animals could be more apt and hold a much more religious significance? What better way to be reminded of His lowly start to life as we indulge in weeks of extravaganza. Figurines detailing such are usually found in churches. Christians are anything but lowly instead opting for the more glamorous version of huge Christmas trees decked in ostentatious ornamental pieces.Of course if you are in the dominant Muslim country of  Abu Dubai, you can currently find a $11million Christmas tree at the Emirates Palace Hotel.Trust Muslims to show these Christians how to enact true glamour during religious celebrations.


The birth of Christ which is meant to signify a religious celebration of hope,rebirth, renewal and God's promise to save the world with his own flesh and blood; has been reduced to mass commercialisation of human wants.It is all about the large scale materialisation of seasonal wants because the last thing on our minds as we flap about is the image of Christ starting his life among animal dung. It should be a reflective period for Christians to take in the enormity of God's message to his flock: the earthly  things we aspire for have no value in his kingdom. Humility should be the yard stick of measurement in our life.Humble beginnings make great endings. Alack! the word humility amongst Christians during this period is as remotely foreign as an ipad to Bushmen in the Kalahari desert.
It isn't Christmas anymore: it is a conglomeration of sales institutions who come together to mark the end of the year whether triumphant or not: by releasing new materials(Exclusive only Christmas items) and getting rid of the old(Sales!sales!sales!) in accordance with the human "scripture" of feeble wants and unsatisfactory acquisition of earthly goods which have no connection to what Christmas is meant to be: The reflection of the birth of the Son of God who was made man; conceived by the Holy Spirit- born of a Virgin in a stable-laid in a manger amongst animals and who from such humble beginnings; saved you, me and the whole world.

Assange: Wee-Lil- Leaking Political Gossip or Villainous Hero?

Courtesy of The Guardian. 12/2010.

 "The west has fiscalised its basic power relationships through a web of contracts, loans, shareholdings, bank holdings and so on. In such an environment it is easy for speech to be "free" because a change in political will rarely leads to any change in these basic instruments. Western speech, as something that rarely has any effect on power, is, like badgers and birds, free. In states like China, there is pervasive censorship, because speech still has power and power is scared of it. We should always look at censorship as an economic signal that reveals the potential power of speech in that jurisdiction. The attacks against us by the US point to a great hope, speech powerful enough to break the fiscal blockade" Julian Assange.Dec 2010.

What a week of revelations, more lurid and horrid than any News of the World sleazy tabloid kiss and tell stories by fame hungry titanium blond pneumatic English tarts.  

Wikileaks leaking wee-wee leak is making such a gigantic puddle mess across the political spectrum. Never mind Sarah Pack-it-in's blunder over "our North Korean allies"... Wiki's leaks have been the icing on plain sponge cake diplomatic relations the world over.

Very little is known about leaky Wikileak's founder: the reclusive elusive (and dare I say agreeable to look at) Julian Assange: with his ever changing hair styles each time he surfaces amidst the waves of political discontent he relishes in creating.Doesn't he remind you of Casper the Ghost? silver white hair and willowy silhouette creeping upon you when you least expect.

Who is Julian Assange? A man with a rather un-usual  surname for a Caucasian Australian(the name bears all the hallmarks and verbal pronunciation of an African surname and please do not question what characteristics make up an African surname). Dubbed various names by international media outlets: The Scarlet Pimpernel of Cyber space(The Telegraph), International Trafficker(The New Yorker), a charlatan with a mockery for world peace and a wee-lil-leaking buzzing fly on America's heavily stinking soiled nappy political mess who at the same time is hailed by some as a villainous hero.And if the advisor to the Canadian PM Stephen Harper could have his way, Assange should be assassinated.

Assange has just about wrongly ruffled every feather on planet earth from the Pentagon, The Scientology sect Religion, to bungling bumbling African Kleptocrats.Just the feathers of the Ostriches on the Great Savannah plains remain untouch.

Currently Assange has no country of residential abode and fleets incessantly between European & African countries; his native Australia having spurned him as the devil child in favour of working hand in hand with American authorities to stem & curb the flow of such political evil emanating from the entrails of Assange. Sweden temporary offered him refuge from the baying blood hounds of North America. However that was to drastically change over night as an international warrant has been issued for his arrest over claims of rape and sexual assault. The timing couldn't have been perfect. One wonders at the true authenticity of any allegations, warrant, etc.

Assange nevertheless is a busy man: Wikileaking and Willieleaking.

Some leaking facts about Assange:

• The seemingly African surname- Ah Sang or Mr Sang: dates its origins to a Chinese immigrant who migrated to Australia in the 1800's.
• His maternal ancestors are Scottish and Irish who also migrated to Australia in the 19th century. (It is thus safe to conclude that Assange's nomadic lifestyle is embalmed in his molecular DNA).
• Born in 1971 on the 3rd day of the seventh month.
• His parents met at a demonstration against the Vietnam War.
• Claire: his mother; burned her school books at the tender age of 17 and escaped from home on a motorbike.
• Assange's childhood was as unstable as a wooden rocking horse on three legs....making Oliver Twist's seemingly stable.Reports have it before he was fourteen, the family had moved about thirty seven times.
• Between the ages of  eleven and sixteen, Assange, his mother and half brother were fugitives on the run from his mother's ex-lover.(What is it they say about living your adult life as a child? deja vu?)
• His unreciprocated cyber love affair with the US state government began at sweet sixteen when in 1987 he started hacking into the US defence systems under the name Mendax(more like Menace).He joined forces with two other hackers to form a group called International Subversives.
• Married at eighteen in an unofficial ceremony.They shortly had a son.
• Arrested in 1991 by Australian police for hacking.
• Pleaded guilty to twenty four charges of hacking in 1992 and was release due to his actions being regarded as the "sort of intelligent inquisitiveness and the pleasure of being able to—what's the expression—surf through these various computers"(The New Yorker-June 2010).
• His mother alleges stress from the arrest, his partner leaving him soon after and a three year custodial battle over his young son left him depress and turned his brown hair...GREY.(Ah! Eureka moment for myself here as I have pondered over his silver mop of hair day and night.) 

No doubt Julian Assange is a cyber space Peeping Tom who regards himself as an "information activists" whose organisation WikiLeaks may have caused irreversible damage on diplomatic friendships and perhaps "world peace"? When does freedom of speech and information become detrimental to it's core foundation- freedom?.
Here are my "favourite" leaking wee Wikileaks:

A most Royal Buffoon:Prince Andrew

• Prince Andrew described by  US Ambassador as cocky, rude and a  boorish "bungling free loader" who cavorted shamelessly in awe, admiration and surprise at the wealth of Middle Eastern Royalty, Sheiks & Emirs.A letter of thanks to a Bahrain host went "my little plane parked to your stunning jet".Talk about a fat kid let free in a cake shop. He was portrayed as spoilt & petulant with little knowledge of his role as Britain's Special Trade Envoy. His Royal dumbness travels with a six foot long ironing board everywhere and has earned himself the tittle HBH...His Buffoon Highness.
• HBH-the Prince of Freebies declared the French corrupt and noisy.What a startling revelation that is!
• Brown was dismissed as an "abysmal" politician who lacked the charisma of Blair, by the US.Well here's some news to our dear American cousins: I rather be a child of Brown than of a Bush fool!
• Our English Cousins were also taken back by British "paranoia" over maintaining  "the special relationship" between the US & UK.William Hague took a further step in grovelling towards our cousins; acting like a somewhat heavy laden arse donkey by professing himself, Osborne & Cameron as "Children of Thatcher" and  "staunch Atlanticists" with a sister who lives in America and he vacations in America. Our Foreign Secretary just took the term kiss a**e to a whole new level.
• The French Midget-Sarkozy was described as an "emperor with no clothes" by US officials.Can't say his stretch skin face wife will complain about a no clothes Sarko though! The thought is stomach churning.Carla is one brave lass.
• The Afghan Vice President flew to Duba in in October 2009 with $52million in cash.The African Kleptos have some serious contenders here.
• China accusing North Korea of acting like a "spoiled child".Sarah Palin wouldn't be too happy to read about one of our allies being describes as so. Palingly Disturbing.

I am not sure what to make of Assange and his political gossips leaks.Despite finding him hauntingly attractive and his baritone voice disturbingly soothing- I cannot help but liken his actions to that of an angry partner who is retaliating on their cheating other half.Some of these revelations are nothing more but unwanted acidic leaks which need to be tightly capped.

Enemy of the state and the Robin Hood of International Diplomacy

The Price of Democracy: Freedom

"Human beings the world over need freedom and security that they may be able to realize their full potential". Aung San Suu Kyi.

These are the words of a woman who spent fifteen years of her life in detention( mostly under house arrest) having very limited encounters with the outside world. There was no access to a TV,phone, or the added luxury of e-communication (email,etc). Newspapers and a radio were allowed whilst all visitors heavily screened by Burma's junta.Letters were fine combed before submitted to Suu Kyi and in most instances never passed on. Whilst in detention, her English husband Micheal Aris died of cancer in 1999.They last met in the Christmas of 1995 as the Burmese junta repeatedly denied giving the dying Mr Aris a Visa to see his wife.Instead Aung San Suu Kyi was "encouraged" to leave the country to visit Micheal Aris in London. However she feared never being allowed back into Burma on grounds of her political discourse towards Burma's junta. Suu Kyi refused to leave the country and Aris died without seeing his wife.It will be eleven years before she will see the youngest of her two sons: Kim Aris on November 23rd 2010. She has never met any of her grandchildren. 

Like Mandela; Suu Kyi paid the ultimate price in the belief of democracy (a government for the people, by the people and with the people): her freedom. 
Was this a price worth the personal sacrifices foregone for the people of Burma? 
Lost moments with loved ones which will never be re-captured given up for the pursuit of one's belief? 
To deny the opportunity(albeit presented in a shark's murderous jaws) of saying the last good-bye to a dying husband because of faith in one's belief? 
A life spent in almost solitary confinement because of optimism in one's belief?

What motivates a wife and a mother to give up all she must love so dearly(seeing her children grow,missing out on all the important milestones in their lives,etc) because she dared to hope for change in a country with a poor democratic record? 
Is it inner strength and outer resilience which forms such formidable characters that make history from time to time?

Like cliffs formed from rocks resistant to erosion and weathering: so too are these political fighters who have been incarcerated in one way or the other-yet come out standing tall and strong like the Trango Towers of Pakistan; more determined than ever to pursue their fight for justice and equality. The love for their country people and patriotism made them"obstinate" in the eyes of their political opponents; with "correctional" facilities such as  prison,detention, etc regarded upon as suitable measures to "straighten" them out. However I believe prison, detention, etc hardens political "offenders" rendering them more likely to commit "political crimes".

I marvel at Aung San Suu Kyi's walk of political fame admiring her strength of character yet  wonder immensely if she has any personal regrets? Is she haunted by an image of her dying husband feeling neglected that she chose the people of Burma over him...at his most vulnerable?

Do her children perhaps resent their mother for "abandoning" them in the pursuit of her political aspirations? Or perhaps she considers herself  a matriarch to Burma and its people thus the need to fulfill her matriarchal services not only at a personal level but on a national level to all Burmese.

No doubt Aung San Suu Kyi believes in her fight for political freedom  and democracy else her fifteen years in detention would have been futile.She may likely not regard her personal sacrifices and her freedom as the ultimate price for democracy for her father, Aung San was asassassinated in 1947; two months into his new post as  new leader of the Union of Burma, when Suu Kyi was just two years old.

"Despair is not the right word, but there were times that I would worry … a lot, not so much for myself, for my situation, but for the future of the country." Aung San Suu Kyi. November 2010.

Suu Kyi by portrait of her father Aung San

 

The Glamorisation of Sex, Prostituition & illicit Virginity

What's hot?Selling sex is.

"If you expel prostitution from society, you will unsettle everything on account of lust." 
St Augustine of Hippo(354-430).
Sex & prostitution have been glammed up and presented to us like a finely cut 15carat blue De Beers diamond. Have you seen the four page newspaper spread of women selling stories about trading their bodies to men for lucrative sums of money? Gripping headlines such as”How I made £10,000 a week as a hooker". Enticing, glamorous and no hard work needed. Doll yourself up, lay back and spread wide...the £££s flow in just like he does.


The oldest "profession" dating back to thousands of centuries ago, is fuelled by the carnal lustful desires of men. For every one new prostitute,there is a room full of dog- on- heat- males with indiscriminate lust, responsible for that one new emergence. It is a problem of a degenerative-deplorable -sewer -stinking- society caused by the wanton uncontrollable desires of men; and it will never go away.
Have you recently liked the "I like it on the floor" campaign on Facebook launch in aid of breast cancer awareness (yet with a dangerously high sexual connotation to it?) The aim of the campaign is to of course promote breast cancer awareness while getting "Liked fans" to explicitly post on their status updates where they like it on...the "it" in this case being handbags. The barrage of sexual innuendos statuses that have poured through nonstop via the social networking site is alarming. "I like it on top", "I like it in the shower", "I like it in the back seat", etc are just a handful of status updates to be found on the social networking site. One wonders who takes their handbag in the shower????


If you are trying to sell or promote a product which seriously lacks a sexual tinge...you will fail ridiculously. 
From barely there clad singers gyrating sexually in videos with their ample fronts & rears on full show, to news anchors dressed in daringly low baring cuts: their finest titbits on display - like a finely cut piece of meat at the butchers.

And beauty contests? They should be aptly renamed Flesh Baring Sexual Contest.A battle ground of  scantily clad women on display like cattle in a market of flesh.

Virginity and lack of sexercises with rampant male who either pay in cash or kind are now illicit.
Just the other day  I was told my train of thoughts were "abnormal" for daring to applaud a young couple who had decided to wait until they got married; before taking up sexercise. Heavily berated to the point of being insulted and for a fleeting moment, started believing my accuser's describtion of myself as "raving mad with high levels of insanity"  I was instantly remorseful at daring to utter such an approval of madness and a wave of shame filled me. Thankfully, consciousness was swiftly regained and wasted no time in giving the male accuser an ear bashing on morals and values. Needless to say: it was a fraught exchange with tide high tensions as we both expressed our own individual thoughts. The evening ended with myself still tightly securing the spot of raving lunatic woman gone bonkers and labelled a moral leper (for daring to refuse to conform to society's egg rotten standards)which I gladly accepted.


The glitz and glamorisation of sex and prostitution in society is an ample bosom truth of the deplorable social condition of the world. What remains striking is the fact the world has lived in such a morally devoid squalid mess for over 2000 years.   


"Prostitution in towns is like the sewer in a palace; take away the sewers, and the palace becomes an impure and stinking place." St Augustine.



NB:

• St Augustine's quotes were well before he turned his back on the whoring sinning ways of lustful male desires.
• In this article, I look at prostitution solely as a male problem suffered by females. I recognise and accept there exist male prostitutes (gigolos) utilised by women; though not on a large scale. Prostitution largely remains a problem of dog on heat males, of which females bear the brunt & heat scars.

Lesson Learnt from Watching Two "colleagues" Copulate.

You may have heard the phrase "I was eaten alive" many a time used to describe the very varied and different experiences we have each encountered or partaken in. Or you may have been described by one you have/had "close" encounters with as such during such "close" encounters...Get it? If you don't, read on and perhaps the penny will drop along the way(pease feel free to substitute "penny" with any currency of your choice).

It so happens certain females bite off  their partners head; eating it during copulation. When my friend John Gwan mentioned that-( after Leo Gabrielle had hinted that certain males of a certain animal specie intentionally abscond from all parental duties after a successful  and productive mating session.Leo was referring to the "cuddly" Polar Bear though it is safe to write most animal male species display the "cuddly-polar-bear syndrome" of  "cuddle-mate-abandon"); I thought he was being his plain "ol- silly-jolly-John-Jonnie- self". Lo and behold he wasn't! He was as serious as Bush & Blair in declaring a War of Terror(on innocent civilians whilst the real terrorists still abide in mountainous abodes in the Afghan Mountains).

 It was with great gusto that I clicked on the YouTube link he had shared to discover which female specie carried out such a loving monstrous act whilst in the throes of passion. I was intrigued to know the reason for such Girl Power whereby she controlled when and how it ended...a deviation from the norm which most females are accustomed to.

After watching the video, I was filled with instant admiration for this specie and wished myself, all my GF and women all over could have such ability to "bite off the head" of wanton male partners who sow their wild oats over fertile ground but are too lazy to harvest their products.

I believe the "biting head off" process exhibited by this specie during copulation is highly significant in that; she "teaches" the male a lesson...kind of like a "you don't just hit and run". The only problem is; it is a lesson learnt too late as the brains come off in the process; thus he does not live to tell his other male friends the story.

What I learnt from observing this female bite off her male partner's head during coitus:

We (women) can take charge of our lives and situation by ACTING before he flies off...even in the throes of passion.So things may be moving pretty well for you both in all aspects of your relationship but we always have to think ten steps ahead because you never know when a man will opt out and fly.They usually do when we least expect it: at the height of passion and when we are most vulnerable.Bite his head before he does...

And who would have thought I would learn such an important life lesson from seeing two praying mantis have sex? Never ever underestimate the importance of ALL God's creatures...and that is without my customary sarcasm.(Video below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYp_Xi4AtAQ

Man with NO limbs swims across Channel

Using just 13 and a half hours, a limbless Frenchman has swam across the English Channel; from Kent to France.
Philippe Croizon from France,started swimming two years ago with the aide of prosthetic legs. Having worked with wounded soldiers who rely on prosthesis for their rehabilitation, I can tell you first hand they are a challenge to use; with one leg weighing as much as 10kg. They are metal, uncomfortable and heavy. Perhaps 10kg is "dainty" weight for muscle bulging males but imagine carrying metal for 12hours or more.
This is one of those stories which puts us complaining mortals with all functional limbs to shame. I have always thought that those with the "real" disability and the "limbless" are actually the non-disabled-limb-full...(so yes the majority of humans who are fully functional with all limbs and have all five senses). We think we "have" but are actually greatly disabled in our way of thoughts; preventing us from achieving our true goals in life. The mind is the greatest disability one can have.
Philippe Croizon "croir" and he achieved what he set out to achieve; beating his original 24hours journey time.
It is a story of how a great mindset and determination can spiral us to higher heights and achievements we n'er imagined.
Being a non swimmer(thanks to Mama who had this fear I would drown...{what is it about "mindset" again?}) I am in complete awe of Mr Croizon and simply cannot comprehend  how he did it.What I have taken from reading this story is; with the right mindset, positive spirit, determination and right attitude, even a non swimmer like myself can become a pro surfer.
Well done Mr Croizon; you are a beaker of hope for all down trodden limb-full humans with a non-disable disability.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8011660/Limbless-Frenchman-swims-across-Channel.html

Gwen Stefani goes "Tribal".Only accessory missing is a spear.

Stefani channels her inner African.

Gwen Stefani is in 'No Doubt' about her recent showcasing of African prints at the launch of her Spring 2011 LAMB collection in NY. The vibrant patterns of the fabric are synonymous to the bold, colourful and cheerful spirits of Africans(forget all those haunting stories of poverty and hunger which the media "positively" portrays.I have never met happier people in my life during my travels to Western & Southern Africa).The African prints present a refreshing and different outlook on the perhaps monotone and predictable looks of "plainer" looking fabrics on the catwalk.They are a perfect addition to the wardrobe all year round: bringing sunshine in dreary winter and vibrancy in the sunny summer(though one needs to use the word "sunny" with extreme caution when describing any English weather)

Stefani used African fabrics for her Spring 2011 collections.MissPoutyPout offers similar.See her contacts below

If you wish to emulate Gwen's rainbow style, UK based designer MissPoutyPout offers made to measure bespoke tailoring services using fabrics similar to Stefani's.Her prices start from as little as £40 for retro style inspired dresses :http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=112532148638#!/group.php?gid=112532148638&v=wall

MissPoutyPout.UK based designer.

Where the Queen's husband asketh what "knickers" One weareth

One's royal husband has spewed another public royal gaffe; and dare I say One's latest joke borders on the lines of verbal indiscretion of a sexual nature.

In the wake of the Papal's visit to Scotland, the Duke of Hazard Edinburgh yesterday asked the leader of the Scottish Conservative Party(Annabel Goldie) if she was wearing tartan "knickers" to which she replied "I couldn't possibly comment - and even if I did, I couldn't possibly exhibit them."
Reports say Ms Goldie responded in "hoots of laughter" and was later heard to remark "humour was truly well and alive in the royal family". Indeed it is! As alive as a fit kicking stroppy spotty teen. One can't help but think if an un-Royal One(mere commoners like you and I) had uttered such a crude joke, it would have been condemned and deemed sexually inappropriate. Different rules for the blue blooded humorous royal.

One wonders if Annabel Goldie would have equally responded in "hoots of laughter" if a party member had asked the Duke's similar "joke".

You have witty sarcastic dry humorous British jokes and then you have crude rude sexual jokes which  are anything but royal. Prince Philip's "latest joke" falls in the latter category. It is daring with a high sexual tinge to it and one which will be better suited amongst pregnant beer bellied tattooed van or lorry drivers; and not a blue blooded Royal.
Below are some of One's Royal Gaffes which One has Royally uttered throughout the years:

• London 2009:"There's a lot of your family in tonight".Remark made to Asian businessman man-Mr Patel; at a reception of British Indians in Buckingham Palace
• China 1986: To a group of British students "if you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed".

• "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"(To smiling black man at a commonwealth party.The man, Lord Taylor of Warwick replied "I am from Birmingham")

• Australia 2002: "Still throwing spears?" To an Aborigine.
• Edinburgh 1999: "it looks as if it was put in by an Indian" On an old fashion fuse box in an Edinburgh factory.
• Budapest 1993: "You can't have been here that long- you haven't got a pot belly" To a Brit in Budapest.
• UK 1966: "British women can't cook"(One wonders if he speaks from the tasting experience on his wife's culinary expertise).
• Wales 1999: "Deaf?If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf". (To a group of young deaf people in Cardiff, making reference to their school band)
• Kenya 1984: "You are a woman aren't you" (To a native Kenyan female who presented him with a gift)

• On the UK 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed"
• "If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"(I couldn't agree more with the last quote from personal experiences!).

One would perhaps be much more suited as a  Right Royal stand up comedian.

The Pope,the Pregnant Nun and the Protesters

In the first visit in twenty eight years,Pope Benedict the 16th will today make a landmark visit to the United Kingdom,amidst a sea of raging storming protests from atheists and non atheists alike.Groups who feel sidetracked by the Roman Catholic Church (RCC); the LGBT(Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transvestite),pro-abortionists,pro-fornicators,pro-condom users,etc will throng out fiercely in their numbers to hail verbal & poster abuse at the frail Pope.

Not forgetting the all important victims of child abuse who may liken his coming as the triumphant entry of an assailant unto the abode of sexually tortured victims.
.

The pregnant nun ice cream advert by Antonio Federici with its equally heavily pregnant Catholic wordings of "immaculately conceived" written boldly across has been banned by the ASA. However, this ban serves as little or no deterrent to the ice cream makers who are heaven bent on putting up posters of the pregnant ice cream eating nun along the Pope's route. Amidst the tight security which surrounds this visit; one can say infiltrating this route to put up such venial sinning posters will indeed be as difficult as a camel going through the eyes of a needle.
The RCC has been embroiled in controversy ever since its creation. Its founder Jesus Christ; was brought to trial for no reason and wrongly condemned to die by nailing on the cross with two bandits.He was neither a law breaker or a bandit; but one who sought to bring morality to a world devoid of any. Of course when one has been accustom to eating an unhealthy diet of foods high in fatty acids and cholesterol; the prospect of going healthy, eating low fat low cholesterol foods becomes as foreignly remote as an African Eskimo.
The Holy Father seeks to emulate the teachings of the founder of Christianity by spreading the message to his children-(those who wish to listen). Like his founder, he has been judged, condemned and nailed to the cross. Only difference being Christ was physically attacked & nailed whilst his successor has been somewhat lucky to only receive verbal & literary lashings.
We live in such an egg rotten world the stench it emanates will put a sewer tank to shame. A world dangerously teetering on the brink of merging wrongs and rights as one; words such as  positive morals, values, etc are on the brink of extinction as fickle humans grapple with their present wants over righteous teachings.
Being  Catholic is almost a mortal sin and who knows if in the years to come it will be a minority ethnic Religion amongst the plethora of countless existing other religions.
No doubt the child abuse scandals has rocked the very fundamentals of the RCC religion; in just the same way similar abuse cases will rock the foundations of any other institutions. It is a difficult case to comprehend and one which is extremely harrowing, frightening and bound enough to shaken our faith. There can be no appropriate explanation for the years of abuse suffered by children.
However, the RCC remains structured and refuses to budge to accommodate the sinning ways of man. It wasn't coincidental that all of Jesus' twelve disciples were men.
Of course the growing army of atheists dissidents and anti Catholics will nonetheless dismiss this as "bonkers" and "pollocks" but Jesus Christ was also dismissed as a nonentity.
The Holy Father remains Christ's Representative on earth.The RCC remains Mother Supreme of all Churches the world over.
God is Omnipotent.Long Live the RCC.Long Live the Pope.

Le Fin de la "Roma" with Roma Gypsies

Nicholas Sarkozy, President of our amorous French cousins stands at 168cm(5'5); making him the second shortest world leader. In fact he shares the short spot with the Russian President Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev who stands similarly short at 168cm. They both loose the coveted title of world's shortest leader to North Korea's Kim Jong-il who stands at a staggering short 162cm(5'3).

Sarkozy more than compensates for his small physique with immensely tall policies which are anything but short. His recent move to deport Roma Gypsies proved too indelibly long & tall to be contained within EU; who shortly condemned France & her minuscule leader of acting "like Nazis".

It is a rather tall & bold move for one so short; but then again we all know big things come in small packages.

He maybe the world's second shortest leader, but his statuesque policies make Noami Campbell's legs look short & frumpy.

He was right in evicting the Roma Gypsies who no doubt served as a catalytic negative effect on France's ever plummeting economy of high unemployment. Their makeshift camps made the slumps of New Delhi look like swanky million pound Belgravia town houses. Economic refugees who do nothing but drain the already drained French economy; like a leech steadfastly sucking stuck to the fleshiest human body part.

I have had the misfortune of living a few streets away from these gypsies who turned a liveable quiet neighbourhood into a breeding ground of begging trolls & tramps; kindly funded by the British tax payers(my humble self included).

Away they were sent; in their mass dishevelled amounts with a handsome goodbye gift(funded by the French tax payer)of €300. A most benevolent token from the amorous French as they ended their French "Roma" of Roma Gypsies.

BRAVO LE PETIT SARKO! If only your tall policies could add to your height, you would be the tallest!

http://www.economist.com/blogs/charlemagne/2010/09/eviction_roma