Lesson Learnt from Watching Two "colleagues" Copulate.

You may have heard the phrase "I was eaten alive" many a time used to describe the very varied and different experiences we have each encountered or partaken in. Or you may have been described by one you have/had "close" encounters with as such during such "close" encounters...Get it? If you don't, read on and perhaps the penny will drop along the way(pease feel free to substitute "penny" with any currency of your choice).

It so happens certain females bite off  their partners head; eating it during copulation. When my friend John Gwan mentioned that-( after Leo Gabrielle had hinted that certain males of a certain animal specie intentionally abscond from all parental duties after a successful  and productive mating session.Leo was referring to the "cuddly" Polar Bear though it is safe to write most animal male species display the "cuddly-polar-bear syndrome" of  "cuddle-mate-abandon"); I thought he was being his plain "ol- silly-jolly-John-Jonnie- self". Lo and behold he wasn't! He was as serious as Bush & Blair in declaring a War of Terror(on innocent civilians whilst the real terrorists still abide in mountainous abodes in the Afghan Mountains).

 It was with great gusto that I clicked on the YouTube link he had shared to discover which female specie carried out such a loving monstrous act whilst in the throes of passion. I was intrigued to know the reason for such Girl Power whereby she controlled when and how it ended...a deviation from the norm which most females are accustomed to.

After watching the video, I was filled with instant admiration for this specie and wished myself, all my GF and women all over could have such ability to "bite off the head" of wanton male partners who sow their wild oats over fertile ground but are too lazy to harvest their products.

I believe the "biting head off" process exhibited by this specie during copulation is highly significant in that; she "teaches" the male a lesson...kind of like a "you don't just hit and run". The only problem is; it is a lesson learnt too late as the brains come off in the process; thus he does not live to tell his other male friends the story.

What I learnt from observing this female bite off her male partner's head during coitus:

We (women) can take charge of our lives and situation by ACTING before he flies off...even in the throes of passion.So things may be moving pretty well for you both in all aspects of your relationship but we always have to think ten steps ahead because you never know when a man will opt out and fly.They usually do when we least expect it: at the height of passion and when we are most vulnerable.Bite his head before he does...

And who would have thought I would learn such an important life lesson from seeing two praying mantis have sex? Never ever underestimate the importance of ALL God's creatures...and that is without my customary sarcasm.(Video below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYp_Xi4AtAQ

Man with NO limbs swims across Channel

Using just 13 and a half hours, a limbless Frenchman has swam across the English Channel; from Kent to France.
Philippe Croizon from France,started swimming two years ago with the aide of prosthetic legs. Having worked with wounded soldiers who rely on prosthesis for their rehabilitation, I can tell you first hand they are a challenge to use; with one leg weighing as much as 10kg. They are metal, uncomfortable and heavy. Perhaps 10kg is "dainty" weight for muscle bulging males but imagine carrying metal for 12hours or more.
This is one of those stories which puts us complaining mortals with all functional limbs to shame. I have always thought that those with the "real" disability and the "limbless" are actually the non-disabled-limb-full...(so yes the majority of humans who are fully functional with all limbs and have all five senses). We think we "have" but are actually greatly disabled in our way of thoughts; preventing us from achieving our true goals in life. The mind is the greatest disability one can have.
Philippe Croizon "croir" and he achieved what he set out to achieve; beating his original 24hours journey time.
It is a story of how a great mindset and determination can spiral us to higher heights and achievements we n'er imagined.
Being a non swimmer(thanks to Mama who had this fear I would drown...{what is it about "mindset" again?}) I am in complete awe of Mr Croizon and simply cannot comprehend  how he did it.What I have taken from reading this story is; with the right mindset, positive spirit, determination and right attitude, even a non swimmer like myself can become a pro surfer.
Well done Mr Croizon; you are a beaker of hope for all down trodden limb-full humans with a non-disable disability.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8011660/Limbless-Frenchman-swims-across-Channel.html

Gwen Stefani goes "Tribal".Only accessory missing is a spear.

Stefani channels her inner African.

Gwen Stefani is in 'No Doubt' about her recent showcasing of African prints at the launch of her Spring 2011 LAMB collection in NY. The vibrant patterns of the fabric are synonymous to the bold, colourful and cheerful spirits of Africans(forget all those haunting stories of poverty and hunger which the media "positively" portrays.I have never met happier people in my life during my travels to Western & Southern Africa).The African prints present a refreshing and different outlook on the perhaps monotone and predictable looks of "plainer" looking fabrics on the catwalk.They are a perfect addition to the wardrobe all year round: bringing sunshine in dreary winter and vibrancy in the sunny summer(though one needs to use the word "sunny" with extreme caution when describing any English weather)

Stefani used African fabrics for her Spring 2011 collections.MissPoutyPout offers similar.See her contacts below

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Where the Queen's husband asketh what "knickers" One weareth

One's royal husband has spewed another public royal gaffe; and dare I say One's latest joke borders on the lines of verbal indiscretion of a sexual nature.

In the wake of the Papal's visit to Scotland, the Duke of Hazard Edinburgh yesterday asked the leader of the Scottish Conservative Party(Annabel Goldie) if she was wearing tartan "knickers" to which she replied "I couldn't possibly comment - and even if I did, I couldn't possibly exhibit them."
Reports say Ms Goldie responded in "hoots of laughter" and was later heard to remark "humour was truly well and alive in the royal family". Indeed it is! As alive as a fit kicking stroppy spotty teen. One can't help but think if an un-Royal One(mere commoners like you and I) had uttered such a crude joke, it would have been condemned and deemed sexually inappropriate. Different rules for the blue blooded humorous royal.

One wonders if Annabel Goldie would have equally responded in "hoots of laughter" if a party member had asked the Duke's similar "joke".

You have witty sarcastic dry humorous British jokes and then you have crude rude sexual jokes which  are anything but royal. Prince Philip's "latest joke" falls in the latter category. It is daring with a high sexual tinge to it and one which will be better suited amongst pregnant beer bellied tattooed van or lorry drivers; and not a blue blooded Royal.
Below are some of One's Royal Gaffes which One has Royally uttered throughout the years:

• London 2009:"There's a lot of your family in tonight".Remark made to Asian businessman man-Mr Patel; at a reception of British Indians in Buckingham Palace
• China 1986: To a group of British students "if you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed".

• "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"(To smiling black man at a commonwealth party.The man, Lord Taylor of Warwick replied "I am from Birmingham")

• Australia 2002: "Still throwing spears?" To an Aborigine.
• Edinburgh 1999: "it looks as if it was put in by an Indian" On an old fashion fuse box in an Edinburgh factory.
• Budapest 1993: "You can't have been here that long- you haven't got a pot belly" To a Brit in Budapest.
• UK 1966: "British women can't cook"(One wonders if he speaks from the tasting experience on his wife's culinary expertise).
• Wales 1999: "Deaf?If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf". (To a group of young deaf people in Cardiff, making reference to their school band)
• Kenya 1984: "You are a woman aren't you" (To a native Kenyan female who presented him with a gift)

• On the UK 1981 recession: "Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed"
• "If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"(I couldn't agree more with the last quote from personal experiences!).

One would perhaps be much more suited as a  Right Royal stand up comedian.

The Pope,the Pregnant Nun and the Protesters

In the first visit in twenty eight years,Pope Benedict the 16th will today make a landmark visit to the United Kingdom,amidst a sea of raging storming protests from atheists and non atheists alike.Groups who feel sidetracked by the Roman Catholic Church (RCC); the LGBT(Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transvestite),pro-abortionists,pro-fornicators,pro-condom users,etc will throng out fiercely in their numbers to hail verbal & poster abuse at the frail Pope.

Not forgetting the all important victims of child abuse who may liken his coming as the triumphant entry of an assailant unto the abode of sexually tortured victims.
.

The pregnant nun ice cream advert by Antonio Federici with its equally heavily pregnant Catholic wordings of "immaculately conceived" written boldly across has been banned by the ASA. However, this ban serves as little or no deterrent to the ice cream makers who are heaven bent on putting up posters of the pregnant ice cream eating nun along the Pope's route. Amidst the tight security which surrounds this visit; one can say infiltrating this route to put up such venial sinning posters will indeed be as difficult as a camel going through the eyes of a needle.
The RCC has been embroiled in controversy ever since its creation. Its founder Jesus Christ; was brought to trial for no reason and wrongly condemned to die by nailing on the cross with two bandits.He was neither a law breaker or a bandit; but one who sought to bring morality to a world devoid of any. Of course when one has been accustom to eating an unhealthy diet of foods high in fatty acids and cholesterol; the prospect of going healthy, eating low fat low cholesterol foods becomes as foreignly remote as an African Eskimo.
The Holy Father seeks to emulate the teachings of the founder of Christianity by spreading the message to his children-(those who wish to listen). Like his founder, he has been judged, condemned and nailed to the cross. Only difference being Christ was physically attacked & nailed whilst his successor has been somewhat lucky to only receive verbal & literary lashings.
We live in such an egg rotten world the stench it emanates will put a sewer tank to shame. A world dangerously teetering on the brink of merging wrongs and rights as one; words such as  positive morals, values, etc are on the brink of extinction as fickle humans grapple with their present wants over righteous teachings.
Being  Catholic is almost a mortal sin and who knows if in the years to come it will be a minority ethnic Religion amongst the plethora of countless existing other religions.
No doubt the child abuse scandals has rocked the very fundamentals of the RCC religion; in just the same way similar abuse cases will rock the foundations of any other institutions. It is a difficult case to comprehend and one which is extremely harrowing, frightening and bound enough to shaken our faith. There can be no appropriate explanation for the years of abuse suffered by children.
However, the RCC remains structured and refuses to budge to accommodate the sinning ways of man. It wasn't coincidental that all of Jesus' twelve disciples were men.
Of course the growing army of atheists dissidents and anti Catholics will nonetheless dismiss this as "bonkers" and "pollocks" but Jesus Christ was also dismissed as a nonentity.
The Holy Father remains Christ's Representative on earth.The RCC remains Mother Supreme of all Churches the world over.
God is Omnipotent.Long Live the RCC.Long Live the Pope.

Le Fin de la "Roma" with Roma Gypsies

Nicholas Sarkozy, President of our amorous French cousins stands at 168cm(5'5); making him the second shortest world leader. In fact he shares the short spot with the Russian President Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev who stands similarly short at 168cm. They both loose the coveted title of world's shortest leader to North Korea's Kim Jong-il who stands at a staggering short 162cm(5'3).

Sarkozy more than compensates for his small physique with immensely tall policies which are anything but short. His recent move to deport Roma Gypsies proved too indelibly long & tall to be contained within EU; who shortly condemned France & her minuscule leader of acting "like Nazis".

It is a rather tall & bold move for one so short; but then again we all know big things come in small packages.

He maybe the world's second shortest leader, but his statuesque policies make Noami Campbell's legs look short & frumpy.

He was right in evicting the Roma Gypsies who no doubt served as a catalytic negative effect on France's ever plummeting economy of high unemployment. Their makeshift camps made the slumps of New Delhi look like swanky million pound Belgravia town houses. Economic refugees who do nothing but drain the already drained French economy; like a leech steadfastly sucking stuck to the fleshiest human body part.

I have had the misfortune of living a few streets away from these gypsies who turned a liveable quiet neighbourhood into a breeding ground of begging trolls & tramps; kindly funded by the British tax payers(my humble self included).

Away they were sent; in their mass dishevelled amounts with a handsome goodbye gift(funded by the French tax payer)of €300. A most benevolent token from the amorous French as they ended their French "Roma" of Roma Gypsies.

BRAVO LE PETIT SARKO! If only your tall policies could add to your height, you would be the tallest!

http://www.economist.com/blogs/charlemagne/2010/09/eviction_roma